waterloo, cooking, baking, graphics, photography, and all the things I love in life.
My sweet, sweet Nova,
I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together. You were the light of my life for such a short period of time and I’m incredibly, incredibly sad that it had to end so soon.
I’ll miss your head-butting most of all, but also your constant robot-meowing at 6AM on the dot, your fur that was attached to everything I owned, and your snuggling when you felt like being a sweetheart.
I love you always,
Your mama, Win
Just feeling sad all the time. Don’t know what more I can do.
It’s just been a pipe dream forever since I can remember (seriously though, like I was 10 and I knew) to get a cat - and I finally did and she was the joy of my existence for such a short period of time. And I had a good job and friends and was in such a good place in my life. And everything was coming together and I felt like my life was finally becoming what I wanted it to be and I was truly truly happy.
and now it’s all gone and I don’t know what I should do. And instead I just cry all the fucking time and I just don’t what I am supposed to do because I can’t find her.
:( just really sad I guess.
Warning: language, and rant.
You realize that in this sort of a situation you find out who really understands who you are as a person when reduced down to nothing, and who is nothing more than just another pawn in your life that should be ignored or forgotten. People who you would have never thought would be supporting you, do, and you realize, hey maybe I should be closer with them. And you know that in the future, you want to show them the same care and compassion that they showed you the past few days. Some people that you fully expected to support you, do so happily-and you’re grateful! You are so glad you have them to support you. And then there are those few rocks in the diamond. The stabs-in-the-back. The, what-the-fuck-is-so-wrong-with-you that you could be SO malicious. These are people who you thought you could trust and depend on for the rest of your life and it turns out you can’t!
To those people: fuck you! Two particularly special mentions here:
Huh. Out of all the people in the world to understand and sympathize, I thought you would be one. Instead, you tried to tell me that it’s my fault, and implied that I don’t actually mean what I say. Well guess what, I didn’t make the same life choices as you (and I’m never going to!)- so maybe our priorities are different nowadays. Let me put it simply for you: I never thought you could be so unbelievably hurtful or insensitive to me. I truly think you owe me an apology, but I don’t think I’m ever going to get it.
And YOU, I thought I could depend on you with my life! I thought we would be good friends for a long, long time. This morning when I read your message, I could not believe what I was reading. I thought you knew how much this meant to me and what this whole situation means to me. The only reason I messaged you last night when I was feeling how I was feeling is because you ARE one of the FEW people who could cheer me up in any situation. You are unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable. So fuck you very much. Don’t bother talking to me again until you truly realize what you tried to tell me.
That’s it. Thanks to those who love me and support me, and BIG fuck you to those who don’t.
Last month was filled with SO much baking and cooking. All photos are from Instagram, so I apologize for the quality.
Top to bottom, left to right:
Oatmeal raisin, chocolate chip, and chocolate drizzled shortbread
Low-fat Chocolate Crinkle
Apple Cinnamon Muffins
Quinoa with peppers, mushrooms, bacon, kale chips, and beef
Quinoa with radish, yellow pepper, mushrooms, tomatoes, lemon, and mint & chives
Smoothie bowl with raspberries, blueberries, kiwi, granola and goji berries
HOLYBANANAS. I just wanted to write a quick post on the TV shows I watch just because. (Also, most of this is just word vomit, so ignore the bad grammar and the waterfall rush of incoherent and non-linear thoughts.)
Up to date: The Walking Dead, Community, and Game of Thrones.
Catching up: Supernatural, Survivor, and Suits.
Working my way through: New Girl, and Chuck.
The Walking Dead: The show I love to hate - so many loose ends, so many (SO MANY) cliffhangers everywhere which are super annoying, and plus sometimes the focus of the episode is kind of strange. Despite all of that, I usually end up bingeing on this show simply because it’s a good show for bingeing and spreading it out doesn’t really make all that great anyways. :P ANYWAYS, reactions for the last two episodes:
HOLYSHAMOLY, Carol lenny’d the SHIT out of that little girl. As soon as she told her to look at the flowers, I thought, OHMYGOD and knew what was going to happen. Also super sad that it had to go down that way. Secondly, OTP FOR LYFE. I’m more happy that Glenn and Maggie finally reunited because if there’s anyone that deserves a decent-ish life, it’s Glenn. But seriously though, he’s actually relatively smart, he can run, he knows how to fight and shoot, and overall isn’t completely insane. He believes in love and hope, and I love him and he should never die. (PS I DON’T read the comic, so don’t spoil things for me or I’ll be super sad). Oh and Rick is a badass, and I felt really bad for Carl. :(
Community: This season has been superbbbb and there’s been lots of moments when I’ve cried my eyes out. Didn’t particularly like the GI Jeff episode (the newest), but I’ll admit, I haven’t watched it twice like I usually do so maybe it’ll get better during the second viewing.
Advanced Advanced Dungeons and Dragons was FANTASTIC. I LOVED the previous D&D episode, and felt like this one did a great job in bringing it back, plus David Cross did a great great job. VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing was GREAT, I LOVED Annie & Abed’s interactions and relationship, and I love them both so obviously I love them doing their own thing. App Development and Condiments gets 5 meowmeowbeenz because holycow I love episodes that relate to the real world and in terms of character development, it was adorable. I mean, plus there were awesome costumes and Britta’s got her voice back. Overall, I’ve been super super happy with the new season of Community, and I’m super glad that Dan Harmon’s back.
Game of Thrones: EEK. It’s back! I haven’t read the novels at ALL, and every single time I watch an episode I just want to spoil it all for myself because it’s all there. I rewatched Rains of Castamere to remind myself of last season (because HOLYFUCKINGSHIT RAINS OF CASTAMERE), and this episode had boobies (!!), gay sex, dragons (!!!!!!!! They’re so big now too!!!!!), Arya Stark is a BAMF, and wow Cersei rejected Jamie hard. :( but also :) because it’s kind of gross, yunno? Got scared when the dragon snapped at Daenerys, haha. Oh and Sansa :( :( :( But IT’S BACK! Super excited for the new season. :)
Supernatural: NOT GONNA LIE, I’M BEHIND. :( :( :( Four whole episodes :( :( :( Good thing there’s a mini hiatus (AS ALWAYS UGHH), so I’ve got like 2 weeks to catch up. Despite whatever happens, Kevin will hold a special place in my heart (although still a smaller piece than Castiel, haha). SUPER excited to watch the episode Misha Collins directed simply because he knows these characters so well. And no, I’m never going to get over the fact that Kevin’s dead. :(
Survivor: ALSO behind on an episode, but man I hope Boobs is out, she drives me nuts. Cheering for the police girl and Spencer currently. :) Also been watching season 16, and obviously cheering for Yao Man in that. ;)
Suits: This show is slowly letting me down simply because of allllll the relationship stuff. Macht and Adams are still great, but I just feel like all the episodes are kind of repetitive (although Heartburn was a much better change of pace in terms of focusing on an actual case and a great episode overall). Hoping that Mike takes the new job despite leaving Harvey which would be devastating but really, I feel like his character needs something new. I’m just begging, no more deux de machina in future episodes please. As an aside, man Sarah Rafferty is gorgeous as always. <3
New Girl (Season 2, Episode 14):EEEK. Too adorable. Just finished A Father’s Love and Pepperwood, and as always, love the characters, love the show. I can’t believe Nick’s dad although it does help explain why Nick is the way he is. Flashback to when they were kids was so adorable. Super adorable with Schmidt and Robbie teaming up, and all of the character’s pogos are too cute. <3 Ah, and as always always, Jess and Cece are GORGEOUSSSS.
Chuck (Season 3, Episode 1): Chuck is a BAMF! Love that he’s learning to flash, sad that he was trying to get his way back in and kept on screwing up things, although I don’t know how much I love Casey just rescuing them at the perfect time. Although, he’s been reinstated, so YIPEE for that!
Whelp, turns out I watch a lot of TV… now to get back to work…
It’s been a really crazy-good weekend.
Nova finally arrived, and she’s adorable, and a big scaredy cat but has started to wander around, and being more curious about anything. Woke up really early to watch the Sochi Men’s Gold hockey game (YAY CANADA!), baking some fresh cookies, and just been feeling the support and love from everyone. :)
PLUS, it’s been really nice out, so that’s always cheerful.
Over the Christmas break, I headed to Vegas for a mini vacation to meet up with Ray and his family! Ate lots of delicious food, met his cousin Alex (Hi Alex!!) and Shawna (Hi Shawna!), dropped by the Coca Cola Store as well as the M&M Store. :D We also dropped by a ton of hotels, stayed at a few different ones, wandered around at night, and overall, had a fabulous time.